I just had a birthday.
Really, it was one of the strangest birthdays ever.
4am: alarm goes off. I have a 6am flight to catch. Ben hits the snooze.
4:09am: alarm goes off again. The puppy whimpers. I tumble out of bed to find a tummy-up barely-awake puppy sprawled beside the bed gazing grumpily at me. After petting that shaggy little tummy for a while, I dress and clean up then roll out of the apartment, leaving Boy and Pup to fend for themselves.

4:40am: I get into a Bad Cab. The driver take the long way, with the most expensive end total price for the ride (since I know there is a free and faster bridge that is available at that time of them morning, I take it out of their tip when they do that)
5am: cabbie can’t find the Marine Air Terminal.
5:15am: I arrive at the terminal. Luckily, there is no security line at the Marine Air Terminal, so I stagger right on inside and flop into a chair by Gate 1.
5:40am: I board in zone 3 and easily stick my bag in the overhead. I’m in a window seat with a very tall guy in the aisle seat next to me.
6:15am: As the plane sits on the runway, I fall asleep. 6:23am: The tall guy sleeping in the aisle seat next to me topples over on top of me. I shove him over and knit for a while…then doze.
6:45am: I slept through takeoff AND through in flight bagel distribution. No breakfast for me.
7/6am: We hit the Central Time Zone.
7:25am: Welcome to Chicago.
7:40am: I stop at an airport deli for an egg sandwich…but they are out of egg. I keep walking.
8:05am: Will the Hertz Shuttle NEVER arrive...
8:25am: I tuck myself into the crappiest rental car I’ve had to date. It’s a Nisson something-outdated with 125,000+ miles on it and strange noises trapped in the engine. There’s no acceleration and it smells funny. I’m pissed and decide to take the backroads to the office.
9:15am: The backroads were faster than I expected. I stop at a grocery store to grab a banana and a Diet Pepsi.
9:25am: Someone pooped by my car door. This isn’t some puppy mess either, it’s human. This is big and stinky and RIGHT where I need to be to climb back into my car. And someone has stepped into it and spread it all around (luckily not me – I double check my shoes to be sure). I awkwardly vault my bag and my body over the mess and into my car again.
9:35am: the security guard stops me at the game and makes me produce my visitor badge. They haven’t done this for the last two weeks, but of course, today they will. I dig.
9:40am: There are no visitor’s parking spots left. I park in a reserved spot and cross my fingers that the security guys don’t give me a hard time.
9:45am: No one is at the front office door, so I can’t get through security. I wait.
9:55am:..and wait…
10am: That’s 10am CENTRAL TIME, so I have been awake for seven hours by the time I finally make it to the office.
10:10am: I eat a banana. Then a handful of roasted almonds. Not much for a birthday breakfast. Time to work on that excel spreadsheet.
12pm: We have a lunch meeting in the cafeteria. Salmon, steamed broccoli, roasted sweet potatoes.
12:30pm: Time to work on that PowerPoint presentation.
5pm: I want to leave but everyone is heads-down. Time to do that research.
7:00pm: I leave the office. Freaking finally. I try to call Ben but he doesn’t answer.
7:30pm: I go to Potbelly subs and grab a chicken & cheddar sandwich to go (typically I enjoy eating out alone but eating alone on a restaurant on my birthday just sounds too pathetic).

All that and a bag of chips...
7:40pm: I stand in ridiculously long line to check into the hotel.
8:10pm: The hotel clerk confirms that I will attain “GOLD” status during my stay this week, but he won’t go ahead and upgrade me. I tell him it’s my birthday. He is unmoved.
8:15pm: I arrive at my hotel room: number 666. No, I’m not kidding.
8:16pm: The hotel neglected to leave me my arrival snack.
8:35pm: I eat my pitiful little birthday dinner and enter my dinner calories into my phone app. With a sandwich and chips, guess how many? Yes, 666.
8:40pm: I contemplate the possibility that I have morphed into the Spawn of Satan. Might be a better gig than this client assignment…I would be a very dedicated demon…
8:50pm: Cake arrives.
The hotel clerk took pity on me I guess. How thoughtful! (But it’s not very good cake…)
9pm: I ignore my exercise tape and climb into bed. I finally get to chat with Ben, my mom and my best friend.
Sometime around 9:30pm: I fall asleep with all the lights and the TV turned on.
2am: I wake up and turn off some of the lights. I leave the television on, though, for company. Work travel is a very lonely state of being.