I Have Kept the Secret for a Very Long Time

But I am telling you now, because the words are ink on a page, solid and strong.  I feared that if I even whispered, it would disappear, or perhaps not have happened at all but in my mind.   For a while, I ached with the knowing and the not telling, but then the excitement faded and I almost forgot about it.  Almost.

I cannot remember a time when I did not lug a book or three with every step, when I did not grasp pen in hand to scribble words across the page, when I did not fall asleep with stories splashing through the dark lake behind my eyes.  In second grade I wrote of a chef who poisoned his king.  In high school, I wrote of girl who lost herself in the trees, but found instead someone else she could be on the other side of the forest.  It was crap that I wrote, all of it.  But I kept reading and writing and dreaming secret dreams.

No one read my stories, of course, since I never let them roam beyond my battered notebooks.  It has only been here, at my blog, that any of my writing has squeaked free.  It hasn't been much ~ it's wrenching to thrust your naked mind and soul onto an ephemeral plain that might spit it back at you with anonymous animosity.

But one story has clambered to freedom.  And it isn't crap.

Kaitlyn was the one who mentioned her friend was searching for stories - knitting stories in particular, and, even more specific, knitting tales of endurance, or of hope, or of survival, of getting through and getting by.  And a little dream scrambled around in my head until I released it to thrive on paper and ink.

I held my breath and closed my eyes and sent my story into the world.  It returned to me wounded, scratched deep and red, and yet not as mutilated as I'd feared.  It was a strong little dream, for all its protests.  I patched it up and sent it out again.  And that time, it thrived.

It is out there now, in the world, playing its part as a little piece of someone else's dream too.    I can tell you my secret because it happened.  It isn't a dream any more.  My story is published.  In a real, live book.  I waited to tell you until I held it in my hands.  I can run my fingers over words on a bound page, my own words, my own story.

My story is, literally,  "The Castle of Our Dreams" and it is one of the essays in the book Knitting Through It, edited by Lela Nargi.  I'm sticking a picture of it over there on the sidelines, too.  Now that the secret is out, you'll be seeing it there for a very long time.

You can find the book here.  Or you can go over here and click on "features" to actually see my name in the credits.  Like this. 

Or you can go to an actual book store and buy it.  If they don't have it in stock yet, you can demand that they order a thousand copies immediately.   

Go take a look.  It is just a short story.  But it is mine.   And it makes me very, very happy.

Comments

[Lisa]

Katie- Congratulations on being published. This is very exciting news! I'll bet that you are on cloud 9. As someone who works in publishing, I tend to get a little removed from the author and his or her emotional investment in his work. I'm so happy for you. I can't wait to read your story. I love you writing on your blog, so I'm sure the story is simply amazing.

[Craptina]

HOOOOOOORRAY! If anyone deserves to be published it is you. Anyone who reads your blog knows immediately what a talent you have for writing. I must have a copy of this- cannot wait to read it. Congratulations!

[connie]

Congrats, Katie! I've filled notebooks with stories too, but in recent years I've let that part of me atrophy. Good for you for making your dreams a reality. Can't wait to read it.

[Sarah]

That's tremendous, Katie! Good for you for being brave enough to try and talented enough to shine! I hope this will be the first of many published stories for you.

[CatsPlay]

Oh my gosh!!! I'm so happy and excited for you - how thrilled you must be! As everyone else has already said, you have an amazing talent for writing. I'm going to get the book and hope to get you to autograph it for me someday!

[schrodinger]

Katie, I'm so proud of you, and I really can't wait to read your story, like others already commented, you really have a great writing talent - you deserve this!

[Sharon]

Huge congrats, friend. I'm ecstatic for you! Yay!!! When I get my copy, I expect you to sign it for me. Then I can say, "Ahh, yes, that's Katie. I read her blog way back when..." = )

[julia]

Katie,
how fantastic! of course i am getting a copy! can't wait to read it.
i hope this story is the first of many more.
i would have burst if i had to keep something this big a secret.
Congratulations!!!

[Nathalie]

This is marvelous! Well done and all.
Don't you love the feel of reading your name on an actual piece of paper, in a REAL book?
That just proves to show that you should go out more with your stories.

[Debbie]

How wonderful for you! It must be thrilling to see your name and your work in print.

[gleek]

congrats katie! what a wonderful accomplishment! and it will be enshrined for all time in print :) i can't wait to read it!

[Veronique]

WOW! How could you have kept such a secret? Can't wait to read it :)

[grigorisgirl]

Congratulations! Doesn't it look wonderful on the page? We all knew you had a way with words. Keep writing, we all want to read your first novel.

[Jessica]

Katie, this is just so exciting! You are such a gifted writer, and I'm so glad that you did take the plunge--this is obviously something you should never stop doing. Congratulations, and I can't wait to get my hands on a copy!

[Jocelyn]

Wow -- look at that! Your name on the page! Congratulations -- you deserve it :) I'll demand the book at all of my local yarn stores! Thanks for sharing your great news with us.

[amanda]

WOW yay! i knew it would happen! I can't wait to get the book and read your story. CONGRATS you deserve your wonderful story to be read by eyes other than your own.

[Cheryl]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

[Mintyfresh]

Congrats, Katie!

[Katy]

So exciting! I'm demanding an autograph on my copy!

[del]

Congrats! I know that has to be super exciting for you!

[Elinor]

Congratulations! How exciting! I think it's fabulous. I can't wait to check it out.

[Dana]

Congratulations! I wondered what would be in that book...and now that I know you're in it, I'll get it for sure. What an awesome experience!