You probably see an innocent tangle of wool. A ruler, a circular needle and EZ's Knitter's Almanac, all snuggled up on my sofa. It looks like the setup for a fun night, huh? A bit of fishtrap action on a chilly Monday evening, reclining with a fizzy cocktail, Law and Order droning in the background, a cat or two tucked awkwardly under your arm and a compliant boyfriend pillowed under your head.
Well, you are wrong and it is not.
It's miserable, disagreeable, obstinate
Mean Old Math May Not Be That Work ingds Again grumpiness, that what it is.
It began so well, curled on the couch. First there was swatching, happy, successful swatching with gauge and pretty stitches and everything. Yea swatching! Happy, happy, snuggly cat, drowsing boyfriend, fizzy drink goodness.
Then there was the reading of pithy patterns. Followed by much vibrant cursing and ripping of pithy yarn. There were melting ice cubes and a flattening of the fizziness, skittering cats and one hastily retreating boyfriend.
But there was no more meaningful knitting. There was no more snuggling (to the chagrin of two icy-pawed kitties and one slightly sleepy boyfriend) or drinking of the no longer fizzy drinks.
And lookie ~ there still is no fishtrap sweater pending in the sidebar.
The Stash Yarn, my Smooshie Nemesis, has foiled me yet again. Of course this dove-gray bunny-soft wool that I recklessly ordered sometime in '04 or '05 won't work. Of course not, what was I thinking? I only purchased 10 skeins of it after all, never considering that the
stupid freaking lovely sweater pattern I eventually decided upon might call for 13 skeins!!!
Can that even be right? That's like 8 sheep. How could one bitsey sweater use that much sheep?
It's the yarn's fault, of course, teasing me so.
That settles it ~ stash yarn refuses to be used. Ever. For anything. It exists only to lure more useless stash yarn into my poor congested closet. And to hog the shoe storage space.
You've won the battle, Fuzzy Gray Yarn, but you will not win the war. I have a credit card and I know how to use it.
Tonight I will be knitting a woolly gray toilet seat cover.